whether it’s at work or in my social life, i’m generally pretty willing to help people out, do what needs to be done and be there for other people.
i’ve recently come to realize that this is not a habit i can keep up throughout the rest of my life. just like too much of anything else, it leaves me feeling burned out and unhappy.
since my birthday is coming up, it’s a good reminder that i’m too old to put everyone else before me all the time. i’ve gotten a little better about it, but now it’s time to get serious.
this means doing things that are just for me occasionally.
this means saying “no” sometimes, especially when i know that that saying “yes” means putting myself in second place repeatedly.
this means remembering to put my own oxygen mask on first, even though that sounds selfish.
this means learning to let go of constantly worrying about other people’s reactions to things.
this means conditioning myself to remember that most of the time, it’s not such a big deal.
this means not doing things with expectations about what will happen in return, but doing them because i truly want to.
this means putting even more emphasis on the people in my life that understand and agree with all of the above and making sure they come first (after me, of course).
of course, all of this is easier said than done. but hopefully, the very act of writing all this down will leave a lasting impression on my brain that will burn until the next time i want to put someone before my own personal prerogatives.
“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”