lately, i’ve been struggling. with pressure, stress and a general lack of direction in my life as a whole. it creates a bleak and bleary lens for viewing the world, and the worst part is that i’ve been haphazardly assigning blame to any person or circumstance unfortunate enough to wander through at an inopportune time.
but this week, four very important and serendipitous things happened that have begun to set me back on a discernible path.
1. someone was honest with me. he said the thing i always think to myself but never say out loud. the secret i think i’m so good at keeping, but that has now been let out to confront me.
2. someone understood how i felt. she laid out my problem for me in the most simple terms possible. it’s what i needed. i like to believe i’m complex, and there’s no way people could ever begin to understand me. but she did. and she spelled out my feelings in one sentence better than i have been able to articulate even in my own mind.
3. someone asked me for advice. to be honest, when our conversation began, i did NOT expect to say to her what i said. but after it came out, i realized … i am also speaking to myself.
4.. someone wrote something that spoke to me. see below from jonathan fields, creator of the good life project. his breakdown below was a kick i needed.
the combination of all these events was the universe speaking to me. the best and most unfortunate part is that it’s just the beginning. i think part of the reason i haven’t struck out in this direction previously is that i know how much work it’s going to be. i can’t even imagine how terrified i’ll feel along the way, but maybe that’s a good thing. it’s probably time i started doing a few more things that scare me and stop fretting over what might happen so frequently. everything about it feels all wrong, but comfort zones are the silent killer of ambition, joy and fulfillment.
i apologize for being vague. i’ll provide more details as soon as i figure out what they are, i promise.